


Forgive and Forget

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, The Joker dcu - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Abandonment, Agony, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Attempted Murder, Bad Decisions, Best Friends, Blood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, Difficult Decisions, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Fanfiction, Fatherhood, Feelings, Feels, Forgive Me, Forgiveness, Heavy Angst, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Jonny Frost - Freeform, Love/Hate, Motherhood, On the Run, Pain, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Protectiveness, Psychological Drama, Regret, Remorse, Secret Identity, Sentimental, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker fanfiction, The Joker imagine, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 02:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18228908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: You are 8 months pregnant. The Joker didn’t want the baby at all and you had a terrible fight. Again. In the heat of the moment, he pushed you down the stairs, wanting to get rid of both of you once and for all. This is something you can never forgive…or forget.





	Forgive and Forget

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Wattpad and Tumblr under the same blog name: DiYunho.

You scream in pain while the doctor is cutting and snipping at your body under the bloody sheets. After that terrible fall you started feeling worse and worse and by the end of the day your bleeding won’t stop. The Joker brought you the doctor you usually use at your hideout and he is trying the best to help, but the situation doesn’t look too good.

“Would you give her something for the pain so she will shut up?” the Joker sighs, annoyed, watching you squirm from his chair.

“You…you son a bitch, you pushed me…” you utter through your clenched teeth, panting, feeling dizzy from the pain.

“I didn’t mean to,” he bitterly replies.

“Yes, yes you did, you never do anything you don’t mean…” you whisper, wanting him dead for what happened.

“Busted,” he smirks. “I don’t want you or your stupid kid, why didn’t you just die, hmmm? It would have been easier on everybody.”

Normally words like this wouldn’t hurt you, but now the circumstances are different.

“Shut up, don’t say that!” you beg him, holding tight to your sheets while the doctor injects you with a mild painkiller. He can’t give you something stronger because you’re pregnant. It doesn’t help too much but it’s better than nothing.

“I say whatever the hell I wanna say. And stop whining: you’re a hit woman! One of the best, so just tough it out, God dammit!” he scoffs, his eyes burning holes through you.

“I’m going to kill you for trying to get rid of my baby, I swear!” you scream, taking deep breaths, trying not to push. The doctor told you it’s not a good idea so you are trying to do just that.

“Well fuck, just do it then,” he mutters, getting up from his chair. He takes the gun from his holster and comes to your bed, places it in your hand, then points it at his forehead. “Do it! Free shot! Come on! Do it!” J snickers, looking you in the eyes. Your hand is shaky from the agony you’re going through but you really want to pull the trigger. After a few seconds you just lower your hand, then you press it on the Joker’s chest, giving the gun back to him.

“Get out! I never want to see you again, you monster!” you whisper, feeling another wave of contractions will hit you soon. “Get out, NOW!!!” you shout as loud as you can.

“Gladly,” he smiles, placing his gun back in his holster. “I don’t need you, I don’t need anybody.”

You watch him getting out of the room and you hate yourself for that little part inside of you wanting him to stay.

“Come on, Frost, let’s go!” the Joker urges his henchman that was waiting at the door for him.

“Sir, how is she doing?” Jonny asks, starting to walk besides his boss.

Frost suddenly hears you scream and stops in his tracks. J continues to walk.

“Move it, I don’t have all night!” J growls at his henchman.

“Why…why are you leaving, sir?”

“Because I don’t want to be here! I don’t care,” he shakes his head, amazed Jonny didn’t get it yet.

“With all due respect boss, I am going in there and I am going to stay with her; she shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“Wh-what?! I told you to come with me,” he licks his silver teeth, getting mad.

“She’s my best friend sir, and you know it. I am going to stay with her.”

Frost turns his back on the Joker and starts walking to the room where you are kept.

Suddenly, J pushes him against the wall and gets in his face, irritated as hell.

“You dare defying me???!!!”

They stare at each other for a while until Frost slowly unclenches the Joker’s fists from his shirt.

“Sir, she shouldn’t be alone. Both of them could die, do you realize that?…”

The Joker takes a deep breath, releasing his hold.

“I fucked up,” he slowly says, stepping back. “But then again I always do so it doesn’t matter.”

He passes his fingers through his hair and begins to walk towards the exit. In a moment of weakness, you scream his name when your pain reaches unbearable heights again.

J stops for a few moments, biting his lips, then covers his ears and runs out.

Frost pulls himself together and steps inside, trying to hide his grimace when he sees so much blood.

Jesus Christ, he thinks, scared for your life. In the meantime the doctor hooked you up to an IV and he’s trying to keep you conscious for as long as possible.

“Jonny, come here,” you faintly smile, exhausted, signaling him to come by you.

“How are you holding up, Y/N?” he frowns, taking your hand and kissing it.

“Not too good…He left?” you ask, feeling tears building up in your eyes.

Frost nods a yes and he squeezes your hand tighter, trying to comfort you.

“Promise me something, Jonny,” you plead with shaky voice.

“Anything, you know that…”

“If I die and my daughter survives, please don’t let him kill her. Please! Please take care of her and don’t give her away ! Would you do that for me?”

“He’s not going to kill her and you are not going to die, ok? Everything will be fine.”

“Oh Jonny, you are such a bad liar,” you try to joke, bringing his fingers to your red, sweaty face. He caresses your cheek, not liking the fact that it’s so hot. You close your eyes.

“Hey Y/N, do you remember when we were 14 and I asked you to marry me?”

You open your eyes again and look at him. You giggle a little bit.

“How could I forget?” you place your right palm against his, looking at your tattooed wedding rings. “We were so stupid we got these tattooed on the wrong hand.”

“My old man kicked my ass for this ink,” he laughs, trying to cheer you up.

“Mine too; I was grounded for 3 months,” you wink, but the discomfort you feel building up again all over your body makes you wince.

“I never told anybody what this means, do you know that?” he confesses, kissing your hand again.

“Me neither. I’ll never tell, it’s our little secret, right?”

“Right…”

“I should have married you at one point…” it’s the last thing you manage to tell him before letting out a loud scream.

“You should have,” Frost mumbles while the doctor starts moving around the bed frantically.

“She’s bleeding too much; I really have to stop the bleeding. Y/N, don’t push please!”

“I…I…can’t…I’m trying…” you answer, loudly breathing. You let your head slip back on the pillow, all of the sudden feeling very tired.

“Y/N, don’t fall asleep,” Jonny sighs, struggling to keep you awake.

You didn’t fall asleep; you actually fainted from the blood loss.

As soon as your eyes closed, The Joker rushed inside the room, screaming at the doctor with the gun in his hand:

“If she dies, you die and everybody that you ever loved and cared for will die too, got it???!!!!”

There’s no way for you to know, but he came back after Frost got inside and waited at the door, listening. J actually almost made it to his car when something weird took place: he suddenly felt a strange pain in his chest and he thought his heart stopped for a few seconds. He stood there, trying to breathe, not understanding what is happening to him. He took another step and then all he was able to do was not to move, stunned, realizing that what he was feeling was probably remorse and regret. But he wasn’t too sure since he always told himself he has no feelings.

The doctor was able to save you and the baby and when you woke up the only one still with you was Frost. The Joker didn’t want you to know he came back but Frost told you anyway. You didn’t care; all you cared about was to run away into safety, as far away from Gotham and HIM as possible.

**************

You covered your tracks very well, jumping from one identity to another in the following year, moving from LA to Boston, New Jersey to Washington, and now New York for the next month or so. You barely keep in touch with Jonny too, afraid the Joker might sniff you out.

You are heading back to the house on the lonely alley that leads to your fence, holding your daughter in your arms. She keeps on talking gibberish, pulling your earring with her tiny hand.

“Auchie Evie, that hurts, baby girl. Stop doing this to mommy, will you?” you bounce her into your other hand, starting to look for the keys in your purse.

“Need help with that?”

Your hand freezes on your handbag and you slowly lift your eyes to see J right in front of you. You gulp, panicked, holding your daughter tighter and turning sideways so you can protect her better in case he tries something.

“How…how did you find me?” you wince, wishing you had at least a knife on you.

“I…ummm, persuaded good ol’ Jonny to tell me. You know I can be very convincing,” he tries to joke but it freaks you out. “Don’t look so scared…Mrs. Frost. I took the liberty of looking through your mailbox. Now, that was a shock!” he dramatically gestures with his shoulders. “I didn’t know that was one of your identities. Now, are you coming back and work for me again? I have a huggeee black list for you to take care of.”

“Go to hell!” You gather your courage and start walking, passing him by as fast as you can. His grin freezes on his lips when he notices how upset you are. You lift Evie higher on your hip and she keeps on waving at her dad, happily smiling for some reason, probably liking his green hair. As the distance between you two grows, you hear him say:

“She looks just like you.”

You keep walking, trying to get to the door when you realize the porch is full of flowers so you can’t even get there. You start kicking the flowers and the frustration building up inside you makes the tears rolls on your face without you even noticing. Why did he have to find you? Now you have to move again, and fast.

“Can I see her?” The Joker’s voice is right behind you and you turn towards him, holding Evie so tight she starts whimpering, uncomfortable. You fastly wipe your tears with one hand, backing out.

“If you touch my daughter I WILL kill you! Why are you here? Leave us alone, you didn’t want us!” you yell so loud it makes you tremble.

Evie starts crying, scared; she doesn’t know what’s going on. You try to soothe her, rocking her in your arms while staring at the Joker’s blue eyes, completely ready to do something crazy if you have to.

“I’m dying…” he whispers, looking away, hoping you will feel sorry for him.

“We all die!” you shout, kissing Evie’s head and stepping back again when he comes towards you.

“I don’t have much left so I guess you could say karma is a bitch, hmmm? Cancer is going to kill me soon so I just wanted to see you one more time.”

“Please go away,” you whisper. You are so distracted and tense you barely hear what he’s saying.

“Don’t you feel sorry for me?”

“No, I know you’re lying, I can always tell when you lie!” you huff, trying to find your keys again.

“Yeah, you could always tell when I bluff, one of your special talents…” the Joker sadly smiles, taking another step towards you.

“Stay right there, I mean it!” you threaten him, aggravated, wiping more tears from your face. Evie buries her little head with ponytails in your chest, cooing.

“Can I hold her?”

“You must be shitting me! Try to touch her and you’ll see what happens!!!” you start bowling, finally getting the keys out of your purse and trying to open the door.

“Here, let me help you,” he tries to reach around you and you push him away, crying so hard you can’t even see the lock.

“I said go away!!”

His hands grab you from behind, stretching to reach Evie too.

You struggle to escape and he presses himself against you, making you unable to move since you are holding your daughter too.

“Don’t touch my kid,” you beg him through tears, afraid he will hurt her. “Don’t you dare…”

“I am not doing anything, I just wanted to hug you both,” the Joker mutters in your ear before letting go, lifting his hands in surrender when you turn towards him. “Can I please hold her?” That’s a word he’s not too familiar with.

“No, never…” you shake your head in denial, forgetting to cry.

“Can you forgive me?”

You give him such a look he feels that weird pain in his chest again.

“N-never,” you cut him off. “I will never forgive or forget what you did.”

“And I don’t want you too,” he is fast in agreeing. “…Can I see her at least?”

“No, she’s upset,” you caress her back, leaning against the door, sniffling.

“Can I just sit here and look at you two?”

You close your eyes and slowly turn Evie towards him even if she fights it.

“Here she is; now leave,” you command, moving her back in the safety of your embrace after a few seconds.

“She really looks like you. And I like the name; but you could have asked me too when you chose it… Sorry, bad joke,” J sighs, seeing the sour expression on your face.

“Go away, J! I don’t want you here!”

“You know, it’s not a good feeling…not being wanted I mean. Must have been worse for you, after what I did.”

“Don’t you dare playing your mind games with me!” you frown, rocking Evie again because she’s getting impatient.

“I’m not, I swear,” he reassures you, watching you unlock the door and getting inside your house. “Can I come in?”

“NO!” you slam the door in his face, locking it behind you.

***********

You keep on watching him patrolling up and down your porch all night until you fall asleep with Evie on the couch.

When you open your eyes in the morning, it takes you a few seconds to realize she’s not there. Did she crawl down the couch? Sometimes she does that.

“Sweetie, where are you?” you ask, worried, starting to look around the living room, then head towards the kitchen when your heart stops: the Joker has Evie on the kitchen table, holding her waist while sitting on a chair in front of her.

“You are cute, you know that? You look like me too,” he smiles and her eyes get big, no doubt mesmerized by his silver teeth. “I can’t believe I almost killed you,” he talks in a low voice, stroking her cheek and she giggles. “Your dad is a jerk, did you know that?”

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing? How’d you get in here?” you shriek, darting to get her.

“Back door,” J points towards it, and you snitch Evie away. “It was opened.”

Dammit, with everything going on you forgot about the stupid back door.

“Out of my house, now!” you snarl, unhappy J touched Evie.

“I didn’t do anything to her, we just…caught up,” he cracks his fingers, yawning. “I’m so tired, didn’t sleep all night. Can I crush here?”

“No, get out!!!”

Evie is starting to reach her little hands for the Joker when he waves at her.

“See? She knows I’m her dad, lemme hold her: I think she likes my hair,” he snickers, happy at his little victory.

Evie keeps on reaching for him while you struggle to keep her calm.

“No, baby, he’s a bad man,” you tell her and she starts whimpering because she can’t get to him.

The Joker rises up and walks towards you with his arms reaching for his daughter.

“Come on, I want to hold her!”

She squirms really badly and whines until you finally let him have her.

“See? I’m not doing anything,” he emphasis, reaching for the back of his jacket with one hand. He takes out his gun and gives it to you:

“Here, it’s loaded; you can shoot me at any time. But I’m not going to hurt her.”

He then starts walking around the kitchen, lifting her up while she laughs and screams, delighted. It makes your skin crawl.

“I’ll never forgive you,” you remind him, aggravated.

“I don’t want you to,” he stops for a moment, looking your way; J wants to hug you but you would probably pull the trigger so he gives up on the idea. He starts playing with Evie again. “Can you please change your identity? Mrs. Frost sends shivers down my spine.”

“Don’t care,” you grouchily reply.

“Fair enough, hmm?” he addresses Evie while she bounces in his arms, excited. “Mom can keep it for a while.”


End file.
